I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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