My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
