dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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