im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
