Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
