is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
