so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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