R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
