You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
