Christians are straight up FREAKS
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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