I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
