Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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