it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
where am i from again
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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