i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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