I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
