Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
