Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
