carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I sprained my soul last night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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