My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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