She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
