I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
