She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize