Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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