A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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