I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
