your thong is hanging out like whoa
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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