Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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