I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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