scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
