We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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