they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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