im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
