i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
