around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
