i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm really busy with my period
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