i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
