Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
vagina is talking i cant
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need a burrito and a hug.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
