buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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