some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
