what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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