I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
