3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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