I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
what the fuck happened to the tacos
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
