I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
