Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize