hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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