watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
