I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
