don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
