I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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