My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
