Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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