Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
