Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
