btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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