I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize