dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
do herpes really smell.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
