You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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