sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
