I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
