I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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