I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
