I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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