It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
me + whiskey = a bad person
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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