from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
